Mentors

An old friend asked on Facebook recently who people's mentor were & why. As a rule I generally do not respond to these types of mass questions. Quite often they seem to be cliche or not taken seriously. I tend to prefer in these instances to scroll on past ignoring it, or at best giving my answer in my head whilst not posting in the thread. I choose to do this mostly because I am private to all but my close associates. I don't really want these pearls of my life out for all to see.

What struck me in this post was the retrospection it caused me... This seems so rare in this day & age. Too often it seems we are in & out, leaving nothing sacred, almost like fast food friends & conversations. Quick, easy, gone as soon as it came & desiring more just as fast. I loathe this aspect of our society. So much so quick with nothing sacred.

 

It is with this in mind that I expound on my answers I gave to my old friend & the break in habit of not posting dear things on social media sites.

 

One of my mentors in life is a former professor; Sherri Tessyman, RN, MSN, PhD (candidate). She teaches medical/surgical nursing, advanced medical/surgical nursing & is a clinical instructor for both courses at Westminster College's School of Nursing and Health Sciences. I came to know her more closely during my final semester in nursing school at Westminster College. She was my clinical instructor for advanced med/surg & I cherished her constructive feedback.

 

Rob Nichols, DNP a paediatric endocrinology nurse practitioner and professor at Westminster once said "Sherri is the best example of a bed side nurse that exists." He would be embarrassed to know that I mentioned him here. However, his opion comes with an immense amount of respect within the Westminster community.

 

Even when in the ICU during my last nursing school clinical rotation Sherri would always say "Every patient needs a shower or bath, clean linens & an appropriate meal. This should be a daily process" I feel like today's nurse looses sight on that as we strive to become more respected by physicians. I find myself doing the same thing. But as I look back on my nursing school education (which was just a few months ago,) I remember that I am not a physician and do not want to be one. Among other things, nurses do for patients what they cannot do for themselves while trying to return the patient to the highest level of functioning possible.

 

Sherri, not only stressed the basics but the need for the nurse to be educated & prepared to meet the challenges that our profession grapples with on a daily basis. She simply expected us to do our homework and to be prepared for the clinical or the lecture or test. This was never spoken, just silently and strictly expected (the highest and most feared form of expectation.)

 

And with all of her expectations and lessons she gave me. One of my fondest memories was of a post clinical conference on valentines day 2012. Every single student in our clinical group had an emotional day. Several of our patients died, a couple came close but they were all critically ill. Fitting I suppose for an ICU rotation, death and severe illness is a fact of existence in these settings. Each student could not hold back the tears of heartbreak & concern for their patients. We were becoming nurses I suppose.

 

In this setting I saw a professor set aside her agenda for the conference & just listen to her students. Her nursing self came through and she cried with us. Her genuine concern & love for us as her students and colleagues was so prevalent. My heart was full that day, the sense of belonging and purpose has only been stronger when I served a mission & got married to my sweetheart. I knew at that moment that I had been given the opportunity to learn from one of my profession's masters. I also knew that my choice to become a nurse was the right one. Thank you, Sherri.

 

Another one of my mentors close to me that I am eternally grateful for is Pam Jensen, RN. She is a charge nurse at IMC on the Medical Telemetry floor, my place of employment. As I was a nurse's aide she took me under her wing and supported me through work and school by keeping my struggles in perspective.

 

I remember one day as an aide I was having a really good "poor me" pout about being a husband, father, full time employee and full time nursing student and all that was expected of me. I think at this point it I believe I was complaining about reading 100+ pages in preparation for Sherri's class the next day. Pam, who was charging that day said from her office very matter of fact: "I graduated nursing school as a divorced single mother of new born twins." That was all I needed to hear. I never felt "poor me" ever again. I felt "if Pammy can do it, I can do it." I really stepped up to the plate that day, thanks to Pam.

 

Another time she found me crying (almost ashamed to say) in the dietary room. I was caring for a young woman who was dying without her girls with her on Easter Sunday. The tragedy of it all was giving me a go for my money. The tears flowed freely that morning. Pam just simply put her arms around me and told me that the day she stops being able to cry with her patients is the day she is no longer a nurse.

 

This lesson came well before the experience on Valentine's day. I believe it prepared me for that. I have always remembered this day. I have remembered that Pam, my friend and nurse told me that it was okay to cry and it is okay for your patients to see you cry. The reality is that when a patient sees that a nurse has emotions and cares they are more likely to trust the nurse and medical team. We are no longer cold robotic technicians but healers, people, nurses who have only the patients best interest at heart. We see a lot of sad, emotional stuff in the hospital. It comes with the territory. Too often I find myself portraying professional exterior that is cold to the patient. Trying to ignore the emotion so that I can critically assess the situation and intelligently care for the patient.

 

But I feel that there are more times than I freely admit that could use less critical thinking and more emotion. I chose to be a nurse for the critical thinking, for the healing and helping of others, and for the emotion I could use. I just need to be more free with those emotions. Thank you, Pam. You have shown me how to care.

 

This list would not be complete with out mentioning my dear wife. Megan is everything to me. She is the love of my life, my lover, my best friend, my example and my mentor. She shows me how to be a good father and husband. She cares only for my best interest. She puts others needs above my own. She sacrificed more than she should have to get me through nursing school so that I could become a nurse and have the mentors I mentioned above.

 

She gave me my children, the opportunity to learn from them and the opportunity to love someone unconditionally. She is my greatest ally, my greatest mentor. Thank you, Megan. Thank you for everything you are and have done. Thank you for all I have not mentioned here and you know about. I love you.

Of course in closing, I cannot mention every person that has mentored me in this blog. It would be too long to even be practical. However, some that need mentioning. My father, for teaching me how to get done what needs to get done regardless of what I may personally want. My mother for teaching me how to be a loving parent. My brothers, and of course the multitude of friends I have made through out my life. In some fashion you are mentors to me. Thank you.